Well, ask and ye shall receive I guess.
Just for the sake of time, I’ll do a quick recap. Earlier this week I asked the question: What irritates you about Cincinnati?
I tweeted, I facebooked, I blogged and I nearly lost all sense of self respect in the process. Needless to say, I don’t exactly enjoy asking people questions about their thoughts. But, I did. My self respect is still somewhat intact and I even found some joy in dubstep…
Psych. I still hate dubstep. Listening to constant thumping and indecipherable noise is still garbage. I had you going there for a second.
Anyway, that’s beside the point. What I found in my moment of pestering you, the reader, is the majority of you loath driving in Cincinnati as much as I do. I know that I’ve mentioned in a previous post that I thought Cincinnati drivers became inept due to minimal snow accumulation. Well, I was wrong. Cincinnati drivers are just inept in general.
Oh, you want an example?
I’ll do you one better. I’ll let someone else explain their woes about the perils of driving in Cincinnati.
Let me introduce you to Deirdre. Author of the blog How to Be More Than A Nice Rack and fellow despiser of people who lack any ability to navigate their vehicles.
“I’m too much of a convenience-whore for public transportation in Cincy, but I’d give anything for a chauffeur. People who pull out in front of me and then drive slow are lucky I don’t own a gun,” says Deirdre. “Also, so is the lady who came to a screeching halt at the yellow light the other day and forced me to lose an inch of rubber off my tires in order to keep from hitting her.”
Okay, I find this pretty reasonable. But, call me biased. First, public transportation can be considered mediocre at best. Second, pulling out in front of others seems to be an epidemic. Blame it on the parking situation, especially in Clifton, but that doesn’t make up for the lack of common sense that most drivers seem to exhibit in these nape of the woods, neck of the wape.
But, Deirdre isn’t the only one. I take solace in knowing that my driving is acceptable, even by my own standards, and hope that it will rub off onto others. But, I’m not holding my breath.
There are some people who take loathing to the next level. Ryan Harper, author of the sports blog What’s The Scoop, scorns everything that is Cincinnati driving.
“I hate practically every driver in Cincinnati. Today when leaving the University of Cincinnati, I was almost hit by a car in the parking garage,” says Ryan. “And then a car stopped in the middle of an intersection near I-75. He just sat there, looked at me, and waved. Don’t just sit there! Get out of the way you moron!”
Ryan doesn’t just hate people who go slow. He hates others too.
“I also hate drivers who tail you when you’re already driving 70-75 m.p.h. If they are in such a hurry, they should have left for their destination earlier.”
Okay, now hold on a minute. Let’s think this one through. One of my biggest pet peeves is someone who sits in the far left lane on the highway.
Let’s address the elephant in the room. Yes, I’m the asshole who will drive up behind you when you’re already going 70 m.p.h. In my book, 5 m.p.h. over the speed limit on the highway is still within the constraints of being reasonable. If you’re not willing to get over, then you leave me no choice to either sit behind you until you decide to get over (within a safe distance) or pass you on the right. Your choice.
Yes, I know I’m stubborn and I maintain that I am a completely competent driver despite my knack for speeding on the highway. But, city driving is where it really counts for me.
One walk down any Clifton street and you will be amazed at the ridiculousness that occurs. Even the cars that are parked are reason for concern. Most of them have dents and dings that rival demolition derby cars. I think that’s enough to prove that the owner and operator of the car may be somewhat suspect when it comes to driving ability.
I understand that bad drivers are everywhere. I’ll even admit that I do some stupid things at times. Actually, scratch that. I’m still just going to assume that I’m a better driver than anyone in Clifton. Good luck trying to prove me wrong.
Anyway, Cincinnati is a special place. We might have terrible drivers, but we’re no comparison to the drivers from Kentucky or even Indiana. Simply awful.
p.s. Here are some other things that people found annoying:
- People who text and drive
- People who talk during movies
- People who say “That’s what she said”
- Jesus freaks
- Romantic comedies
- People who constantly fuck up and then complain about it
- People who act like they know everything
- Parking around campus (U.C.)
- Attention whores
- Debbie downers
- Overly non-religious people
- People who only listen to music from the radio
- Girls who wander around campus in dresses and leggings in freezing temperatures
- People who talk in class during a lecture
- Lazy people
- Roommates who obsess over someone who only calls when they’re wasted (Personal favorite)
- 3 a.m. garbage collection – Side note: It’s got to be done at some point… C’mon.
- Ernie (not from Sesame Street)
- Trash and dog shit on the sidewalks
- Crappy apartments
- Bed bugs
- Bad landlords aka Slumlords
- People who use the word “epic”
- People who use the word “swag”
- Bars that charge a cover
- Bars that allow 18 year old girls, but 21 year old guys
- Stupid people
Well, that about sums it up. If you think of anything else to add to the list or disagree with me, comment below. I might listen to you. That’s the chance you take.
Have a good weekend.